Paranoia has been eating me through nowadays It's been making me feel dumb daily and every minute i sit in class. It seems like i should know these stuff, but paranoia disrupt my mind and tricks me into thinking " I DONT KNOW THIS! OH NO IM SO DUMB" but in actual fact- i DO know what im doing or suppose to do.
Well the good side is, paranoia has challenged me to study, do my assignments, create a timetable for the first time and actually follow it for the whole day and of course, convinced me to dedicate my weekends to working my ass off!
So on thursday, i was determined. I set up alarms on my phone so it would remind me to do what and when. like do business assignment at 2pm and then do maths tutor hw at 9 30am the next day! I'm surprised i actually followed my time table. Usually im so tempted to go to cabramatta or play games or do stuff for mum as an excuse for getting away from work! It's procrastination. gee I have paranoia hunting me down, and procrastination as its sidekick! Double-teaming is never fair=[ but life's like this!
So worked my ass off today, i didnt feel tired or annoyed or whateva tho. surprisingly haha xD I jst worked at my own pace but try to get things finish! =] I got my part of the business assignment finish. And i just started it today! So proud!! tehe.
Im also surprised that i volunteered to go to a new tutor and its for chemistry. If anything, most of my friends and family would know that i FEAR going to new tutors and i would be so tense that i'd end up crying the moment i step into the room. But yesterday, it was =] a success! haha ^^
I know that if i continue at this pace, i'd feel better bout myself and paranoia will decrease. This is because i know i did try to do the best i could, and i have dedicated a lot of time on it. =]
Anyways! adios!
back to work! >.< biology assignment, YOU'RE UP NEXT!
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