Distance

Nowadays i feel so distant from my brother. It's not because he spends more time with his girlfriend and stuff (i dont really mind that now, kinda got used to it). Towards the end of high school i realised i've grown up to be a more mature and responsible person and because of this i realised all the things i dislike about my brother.

When i was younger I didnt mind the bad side of him, and i still do as he say even if i dont feel happy to do so. I get over it quick, maybe because i saw him as the older one and i admired him. Mum said i was his little fan LOL Nowadays I begin to see things more clearly and become more frustrated with him. I know that he is barely home nowadays, but he never tells us when he is home or not home for dinner. Sometimes we prepare food and make sure there is food for him as well. But most of the time, he is never home to eat dinner and at the end there are leftovers. After a while we assume he is going to eat out, so we prepare just enough food, but then he comes home. It frustrates me that he is unable to do even something so little as to tell us whether he will be home or not for dinner. I used to ask him everyday before i go to school, and i thought itd be a habit for him eventually - but then it doesnt.

I start to become frustrated at how there are so many times we need him and he is never home to help. Such as fixing the computer and stuff, because in the whole family, only he knows how to take apart the computer and buy parts to fix it and know whats wrong with the computer when certain things happen because he did IT in uni. There are other stuff we need help with and he is never home, including advice i need about uni, courses and stuff like that. But he is barely there to help

When he is home, soemtimes I'm a little pissed at him inside, so i cbb replying to him when he says stuff, maybe give a little "yup", "mhm" or "uhuh". And then he comes and try and joke with me and start a convo and so on -.- jst to ease the mood a little and pretend that there's nothing wrong. I dislike people who does that..joke around and laugh and smile, try to act innocent when there clearly is something wrong, just so you'd 'forgive' them.

Now that i have come to realise all this, i become more disappointed with my brother. I feel bad for feeling like this, because i have never done so before. There are somethings you can tolerate, however there are also other things that should not be tolerated for the good of the other person - things they need to realise and change before they piss off another important person in their life.