Like i said previously, i wasn't close to him. But it's devastating to know that someone you know and is within your social life has passed away=[. He had cancer and died last week. A ceremony was held yesterday and today.
I was worried about looking into the coffin. I was scared because..ye you know why..But once i've seen him lying there, loads of thoughts started going through my mind. I keep thinking, a year ago, on this exact day, i bet my uncle was busy and doing his usual stuff. Working at his optometry, or staying at home with my cousin or just on holidays overseas. And a few weeks ago, he wouldve been walking around and talkitive. Now it's hard to believe, that the person lying, still and quiet, it my uncle. It's ironic, but it doesnt seem realistic..when this IS reality.
Then we drove in a line of cars, to the burial place of my Uncle. Our crew drove past his house, and his optometry. When we reached his house, a neighbour ran out and asked who died ..she was a neighbour for many years and she was shocked upon hearing the news
When we got to the burial place, we had to throw roses in. I saw them lower the coffin. I was thinking...a few weeks ago, i bet my uncle would be afraid to go down there, i bet it will be scary, and it's hard to think that so many things are passing us by so fast. It still seemed impossible that it was my uncle being buried - even though i know clearly, that it was him.
I noticed how deep the hole it. Deeper than what i thought. I will miss my uncle - missing a piece that had left this world that is shared by all of us. And as we left, i kept looking back and saw them throwing dirt onto the coffin. That moment i was wondering, what if we can get him out and save him, what if he isnt dead, ..what if...it all just seemed to unrealistic still..
It's not because i was in denial. It's just that things happened to fast and too sudden.
I kept going teary everytime i hear about my cousins..They seemed to strong - but i know they're trying to be strong ..My older cousin is who we're more worrieed about...She spends a lot of time with her father and she went to the hospital where her dad was before..And she was talkin to him, saying daddy daddy and she was crying a lot..But ever since visiting, she is extremely quiet and not as talkitive..Everyones worried about her...I want to hold a picnic with just us cousins like before...When i was sad my cousin took me out just to cheer me up. To be away from the house a little even if it meant just walking in a market. It cheered me up heaps...And i want to do that for my cousins..I want to help
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